Ter ontspanning tijdens 'den blok'
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Volgens:
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
COLIN POWELL: This is not about whether inspectors made sure the chicken crossed the road, it's about the willingness of the chicken to cross the road voluntarily.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
STEVE JOB (Apple): Because of the brand-new iChicken- a portable device that crosses roads, lays eggs, gives wakeup calls and provides dinner, automatically. This amazing device can simply plug in to the $4000 iCoop to produce additional iChickens and recharge existing iChickens, or plug it into the $9000 iChop to convert iChicken files into iFood. iFood-to-Regular Food converters sell for an additional $50/month fee, however the optional iFood-to-FoodXP converter is still in development. iChickens are only available from authorized iDealers, which can be found in nearly every US state. If your iChicken develops a disease or stops working, you must send it by FedEx Overnight to Littleton, Montana and our iTechnicians will send you a replacement within 3 months. The iChicken. Wow.
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
PLATO: For the greater good.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
MACHIAVELLI: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
JOHN LOCKE: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.
LAPD: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
DOUGLAS ADAMS: Forty-two.
SARTRE: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
NIETZSCHE: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
BUDDHA: By asking this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
SALVADOR DALI: The Fish.
DARWIN: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
OSCAR WILDE: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in
town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.
GEORGE ORWELL: Because the government had fooled him into thinking that he was crossing the road of his own free will, when he was really only serving their interests.
JONATHAN SWIFT: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.
HAMLET: That is not the question.
JESSICA SIMPSONS: Why would it be one a road, I thought chickens lived in the ocean?
HOMER SIMPSON: There was free beer on the other side of the road.
BILL COSBY: Weeelll, ya see, the chicken crossed the road, and to get... to...the jello pudding pops.
SNOOP DOGG: This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) know
what the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'.
GANDHI: All chickens should peacefully resist by crossing the road.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
SCULLY: It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in chickens.